wtf beringer?

So I have decided to get off of the subject of cancer tonight. Mainly because I am tired of giving it my time. And because I had one of those moments tonight that I just must document.

I am an individual who feels that when life is stressful, it is ok to drink. I know that this is an interesting fact coming from a Christian, but I would like to believe that God made the man that made the wine to make His people happy. I am sorry if this is twisted theology, but I think that God loves me regardless of the fact that I enjoy occasionally drinking liquid that makes me laugh and relax and calm down from this world's stresses. So disagree if you must, but here is my story from tonight that includes wine.

We have had a stressful week. You all know that much if you have been reading this blog. So as I was leaving the Kroger form picking up my blood pressure meds (another story for a different day) I wondered into the wine section. I went DIRECTLY to the spot that I always find my BELOVED Beringer White Zinfandel.

**I'm going to get off subject for a minute. Anyone who knows anything about wine knows that White Zinfandel is cheap and so not chic. And my answer to that is- SO! See I have been consuming wine for some time now (too long for law enforcement) and I have tried all wines. The expensive ones, the fancy named ones, the ones made of famous grapes, the ones made from grapes owned by famous people, blah, blah, blah..) and I HAVE NEVVVEEERRRR found a wine I enjoy more than a good glass of White Zinfandel. Ok, I will even admit that I enjoy the cheap White Zinfandel- I attribute this to the fact that my mother drank Champale (no- not while she was pregnant with me!). If you have no idea what Champale is- google it. It is CHEAP and CHEAP- that's it.

So anyway, back to my story. I went to the EXACT spot that I ALWAYS find my Beringer White Zinfandel, and low and behold it was gone. The nice people at the Kroger decided to move things around. But luckily there was signage. And right above my head on the other side of the aisle was a large sign that said "WHITE ZINFANDEL" pretty as you please. So I made my way around to the other side, find the all-too-familiar Beringer label and grabbed my bottle. As a bonus I noticed that it was marked down to 2 for $10.00. Man I love me some Kroger! So I was off to the checkout. 1 bottle of Beringer Zin, 1 bag of M&Ms for Britt and one pack of Reese's for Haley. See, gotta be fair. And I checked out in record time. We went home, relaxed a while and I went to the kitchen to get my relaxer.

As I was opening the bottle that was just not cooperating, I took a glimpse at the label and then took a gasp. Much to my surprise, the label read "WHITE MERLOT"! But I am NOT CRAZY. The bottle looked just like what i always get. Same beautiful color. But someone decided to f with my zinfandel and come up with some new trendy merlot that is an imposter of zinfandel. And to that person I would like to say- you are messing with the wrong girl! Because I was looking forward to my nice relaxing drink and you had to go and make it taste like some dry shoe leather poop. So tomorrow I must return to the Kroger, for this little incident has made me even more anxious to enjoy a glass of my beloved, cheap wonderful friend.

And just in case you think I might be crazy and am just wrong, here I give you exhibit A:

the wine I love.

And Exhibit B:

The imposter
See- I am not crazy! Ok, maybe I am since I just wrote a really long blog about this.

1 comment:

  1. Good rant, Lori. Thoroughly enjoyed, although I feel a tad guilty for enjoying at your frustration's expense. Sounds like something that I would experience.