Glimpses

Random pictures of our life. The life I love.


For 3 years, she has been a cheerleader.

She looks like a cheerleader.

She has the build of a cheerleader.

And now she has decided she wants to play softball.

I've been cutting his hair since he turned 9 months old.

I love a boy with a buzz cut.

But for some reason, we've decided to let it grow a little.

Not because it's the popular style.

Because we have never seen it longer than a 3 guard razor cut.

And because I have always wondered if his hair would curl like his Daddy's when it grew longer.

I wonder if I'll get tired of his little mop?

He sure is cute though.

There are 2 things wrong with this picture.

2 changes I have made.

1st- there is a book in my hand.

That's the 3rd one I've read in 3 weeks.

More books than I have read in 12 years.

2nd- those red fingernails.

They are red because I paint them to remind me not to bite them.

And I've gone 2 weeks without biting them.

Not a big deal for most, but HUGE for me.

See those boots? They are size 13 Georgia Boots.

6 months ago I would have been pretty mad that they were sitting in the kitchen (clearly not where they belong!)

But now I am thankful that they are there.

Because them sitting there means that Evan went to work and came home.

And that is the most treasured thing to me right now.

He is healthy and comes home to me and the kids every day.

What a neat life I get to be a part of.

Or was it a dream

Have you ever had a dream so vivid that you are convinced it actually happened and you start conducting your life as if your dream changed everything?
It happened to me last night.
I dreamt that a relative of mine took $549 out of mine and Evan's bank account. By means of identity fraud.
And when I woke up this morning I was pissed.
And part of me has wanted to go online and check the bank account.
My mind has me convinced that my dream really happened.
An interesting twist to this story is that the person who took the money in my dream is currently not a part of my life.
By my choosing.
It is a relationship that had become so toxic that I bowed out. In order to protect my sanity.
So I wonder what this dream is trying to tell me?

PS- I still can't remember my pin number and I'm too embarrassed to call the bank and ask for a new one.

Cleaning off the camera

Here are some pictures that I cleaned off of my camera today.
Each with there own story.

This picture was taken 4/22/2010. Yes, they are poinsettias. Yes, they are mostly found during Christmas time. But every year, I can't make myself throw them away after Christmas. So I keep them way too long. And them one by one, I put them to death in a trash bag. And the only reason I got rid of them was because I was tired of being asked why I had 6 poinsettias in my laundry room. Answer: because I treat plants like children.

This is the rose bush out in our back yard. I planted it the spring after we moved into our house. And every book and website about roses says to make sure and cut your rose bushes back so that they thrive. Well I have never cut this one back and it is just stunning. I so enjoy watching it bloom every year. It makes my heart smile. And the number of blooms it produces each year is unbelievable.

This is an orchid I have had for 3 years. I bought it in a clearance buggy at the Kroger. It was sad and needed a home. And I think it really likes it at our house. Every 6 months, like clock work, it blooms to most beautiful white flowers.

This is a picture of a collection of mixing glasses on the top of a hutch in my Mom's kitchen. She collects all things antique. I love to look around when I go home. I love to see all that she has found to add to her collections.

FYI- her house serves as a clear explanation for why I throw away everything. I'm afraid of having collections. Because I am afraid of clutter.

But my mom really does love it. And I'm ok with that.

This is our cat Abby. I took this picture on a day when our whole family was stressed out. I could tell she too felt like she had had enough. She was ready to be left alone to sleep and not be bothered. I love how she covers her eyes with her paws.

And finally, this is a picture of a road sign in the town that my dad's family is from: Mountain City, GA. Will Zoellner was my Great Grandfather. He passed away when I was 2, so I have no memories of him. But I do have alot of knowledge about him since a book was written about his life: Foxfire 5. I think many people enjoyed being friends with my G-grandfather. So much so that he has a road named in his honor. I think this is so neat.

No Technology Week (My kids will never forgive me)

Last Monday I had had enough. I came home from work, picked the kids up and they were not behaving like I would expect. And for the better part of 2 hours they were awful. They were on each others nerves as much as possible and I got really tired of hearing them bicker. They could not settle on anything without fussing and fighting. And they were not only on each others case, but they also had not been too respectful of me either. So I was fed up. The final straw was when I told Britton to come downstairs and put his baseball uniform. He looked at me, told me "no" and said he didn't want to go to baseball, he wanted to watch TV. Bad Move.

Welcome to "No Technology Week" at the Bryant House. An idea that was born from my kids acting like little turds. Here are the rules: No TV or Internet from Monday through Thursday. Instead, you will be forced to play and use your imagination. That's right- let the suffering begin. What a hard life. You must enjoy the beautiful weather. You must ride a bike or enjoy a book. Poor kids, you should feel sorry for them. Because they are having to learn how life was back in the day. Back when online games and crappy Disney TV were non-existent.

And guess what? The kids survived the first week! And they are actually acting like humans again. And they have been playing so hard that by the time bedtime rolls around, they are wore out.

And "No Technology Week" went so well, it has been extended for 6 weeks!!! That's right kids- we enjoyed you playing in the yard so much that we want to see you play until summer break!

And who knows, maybe we will make this a permanent change in our family.

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday

Yesterday (Sunday) took me completely be surprise.
I didn't prepare myself to be emotionally bombarded.
But it happened. And I was overwhelmed. But it was good.
Kinda like a cleansing of my soul.

Our Sunday School message was about the impact you make as a Christian outside of church.
I had to think about what I do. I like to give to others. I like to sponsor events. I love to host people at our house. I go all out when I know people are coming over. I like to give gifts and flowers.
But I can do more. I can always do more. And I have my eyes wide open to opportunity.

The sermon yesterday was about wanting to give up. I wish I could say that I haven't had that feeling. But too many times I find myself with my hands in the arms saying "I'm done" or "I'm over it". The problem is I don't have the option of being done. I've got 2 kids and a husband who depend on me to be a part of the team even when it's not fun to play anymore. And it is only through God that I continue to play the game and not just quit. Which strikes cords close to my heart because I have known so many people in my life who have chosen to quit. Relationships have been broken, lives forever changed. And all of these situations have one thing in common- God was not put first. And I will put Him first, and I will not quit. No cancer and no burden will be too much. I will not quit.

The worship music before and after the sermon was beautiful. But my heart chose that time to break down. The tears flowed and I was sitting on the front row in front of hundreds of people. But there was not a thing I could do. I was completely broken. Emotionally spent. But thankful to God for all He has done. And as I held the hand of the man I so love, I realized that my tears were not the only one's flowing yesterday. We are both broken and thankful. Suffering but rejoicing in a time of worship. We have pure love because we let God be in control.

And finally, yesterday I was reminded that I am a miracle. Someone that was completely lost. I should have amounted to nothing. But I was found. I was shown love and I was taught to love. And in return I have 2 beautiful kids and a husband who is amazing. I am a miracle.

Spring Break- I'm tired!

Here's a recap of our week of Spring Break. Evan and I both had to work, so we did as much as we could in the evenings to have fun with the kids. Overall, it was a success. Be we are all tired!

Monday- T-Ball practice. Britton and Evan practiced with their team and Haley and I went to the store to prepare a special dinner- FONDUE! Hello 1975! The kids loved it, and the house still smells like hot oil. We had beef and chicken to cook in the fondue pot and I made a Swiss cheese fondue in a seperate pot. We had chocolate dip and fruit for dessert. Delicious!

Tuesday night, Aunt Bee came for a visit and played with the kids while we went out for dinner. Dinner was a treat for us, but I am thinking the kids thought they were in heaven. I hear there was Play-Doh and all kinds of fun while we were gone. Evan and I ate Thai food and enjoyed each others company without someone going, "Daddy, Mama, Daddy, Mama" every five seconds! Thanks Bee!

Wednesday we went out to dinner at our kid's favorite place to eat, Chick-fil-A. I have to say that I am Sooooooo over CFA (I am really sorry to the tons of people that I know who work there!) but we wanted to take the kids since they love it. After dinner, we took a few loaves of leftover bread and went to Lake Kedron to feed the ducks and fish. We spent over an hour on the docks there feeding all of the animals. It was a great, no-cost adventure that the kids really enjoyed.

Thursday Evan went to the Masters and I took the kids to see "How to Train a Dragon". It was the best movie I have seen in a long time! Loved it. I think the kids both enjoyed it. Britt was a little scared at times. But he really enjoyed getting to eat popcorn and Coke for dinner (only during Spring Break), so he was happy.

Friday we had our very favorite, Mexican food, and then we went to Home Depot and bought a new John Deere lawn tractor. Not much of a planned activity for Spring Break, but the kids were excited about getting to see daddy's new toy. It was quite the fiasco and took almost 3 hours, but we got home around 10 that night with a shiny new green tractor. And the kids got to stay up late- that's a treat in itself for them!

Saturday we had a few quick errands to run and then all of the Bryant family came to our house for a gathering and dinner. It was great to see everyone since we have not all been together since Christmas. The weather was beautiful, so we all sat out in the yard and enjoyed each others company.

Finally, there was Sunday. Church, lunch and then burning a bunch of yard debris. Followed by laundry and watching the Masters. A lot of laundry!

And now we are all exhausted. And it's time for a normal school week. I'm hoping it will be a good one! Only 7 more weeks of school- that's hard to believe!

Where I come from

This is the house I grew up in. It was finished 30 years ago this week (in 1980) and my parents have lived there the entire 30 years.
A little history about this house:
-My dad was a Master Sergeant in the Army until 1989. Up until about 1980, my parent's lived all over the place. Mostly my mom lived in the metro Atlanta area and my dad lived overseas. Except for the 3 or 4 years that they packed the whole family up to live in Germany.
They were finally able to settle down when my Dad got a permanent assignment at Fort McPherson. Which is why they built this house in Fayette County.
-When my parents moved into this house, there was one house about 30 acres to their left and that was it. There are now 10 more house on their street, mostly on 3-5 acres each.
-The road to my parent's house was gravel until the 90's. It is now asphalt and measures roughly 4/10 of a mile.
-The house plan is a John Wieland plan with 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and a bonus room over the garage. It is about 1800 sq. ft. and it was very crowded with 5 kids.
-Everything about the interior of the house is dark. Dark wood, dark paneling, dark brick.
-The trees around the house are huge and beautiful. The entire yard is draped in a canopy of old oak trees.
-Not a single baby was brought home to this house, as my parent's didn't finish and move into the house until my youngest sister was a few weeks old.
-My mom oversaw the building of the house by herself. My dad was stationed in Korea while it was being built.
-There was a house fire in the house in the late 1980's but the damage was minimal since my brother drug a water hose up the stairs and fought the fire until the trucks got there.

And there are a million more tidbits of info I could share, but I would hate to bore you. I do however plan on writing another post about the inside of the house. I just have to upload the pictures, which takes forever.
So there it is, my original home. Where I come from. The place that made me who I am.
I'd love to know where you came from.

Video Church

Easter Sunday was a little different for our family. Evan and I decided to attend church with my brother and his wife and son. We made this decision because our family plans for Easter made it impossible to get to our church and back and get to see family on the schedule we had set.
So I'm sure that some of you will gasp and want to be upset with us for not making it to our church, but we went to church, which is important to us.
My brother attends Southside Church which is a satellite location for Northpoint Community Church, led by Andy Stanley. As most people know, Andy Stanley preaches on videos at the satellite locations. The thought of that freaked me out. I mean really? Why go to church to watch a video?
Well I have to say that I have changed my way of thinking about video church. It is phenomenal at Southside. I'm not sure that it would work at many other places, mainly because I feel like Andy Stanley is the reason it works. And before you go and judge me for being some kind of Andy Stanley cult follower. I am not. But I have NEVER heard the man preach a message that was not profound. He honestly knows how to speak to the common human being. Those of us who find ourselves screwing up on a daily basis.
And then there is the worship experience. The music is flawless (yes I know they pay the band). But I WANT to worship God when I am there. The energy is amazing. The dynamic of the people there is insane. I can't say enough about the worship.
And finally, I give props to Southside for nurturing my brother. Those people have held his hand and led him on a walk with Jesus. They are what he needed. They love him. And I am so thrilled he found Southside to be a part of. It's hard to believe that 3 years ago he was in jail and now he is serving others on Sunday morning as an usher. God is good.

And the doctor said, "Is he weird?"

Let me start by saying that for the first time in 6 months I feel like I can breathe.
I feel like I completely understand Evan's health and what lies ahead in the future.
I feel as though I can trust doctors again. And for all of you who come here to get your updates, here is why-
Yesterday we met with Evan's oncologist. Let me preface all of this by saying that the first time we met with this guy I was NOT impressed. I just had the feeling that this particular doctor treated us as though we were overly concerned. He seemed to be uninterested and bothered by us being there. And I blamed all of his demeanor on the fact that he did not consider thyroid cancer to be one of his specialties. So I was ready to find another doctor. And I'm pretty sure Evan was too. But something changed and it was for the good.
When we met yesterday, we (me and Evan) went in ready to obtain copies of all of his records and tell this doctor that we were ready to take Evan's health elsewhere. That didn't happen. From the second we sat down until the second we left the building, Dr.K did all he could to prove that he was ALL OVER Evan's case. As it turns out, I think the doctor was bombarded the first time with Evan's paperwork and we saw him too soon after he received the records. I feel certain he had NO IDEA that he was seeing a 33 year old male with Hurthle Cell Carcinoma. And he was not ready to give any opinions at that point as he was ill prepared.
But yesterday was totally different. Dr. K called other specialists, read up on Hurthle and was ready to tell us yesterday that he had a doctor at Emory he felt certain could be of help in Evan's case. He admitted that it will take a team of specialists to figure this all out. And he vowed to make sure that Evan has every test needed to ensure that his cancer is contained and eventually destroyed. He also went over the most recent blood work with us and the results were answers to prayer. Evan's thyroglobulin levels were at a point where we KNOW that the radiation is continuing to work. And there is a chance that the cancer is almost GONE! And if it's not, we will find out from an ultrasound later this week. At which point, decisions can be made.
So I am one happy girl, I don't know why I ever doubted that God would get us to a good place. But He has. There is a plan and a timeline. And for that I am thankful.
As a side note, Dr. K turned to me yesterday and said, "Is he weird, because this is all weird!". I appreciated that. A doctor who admits that he is baffled and at the same time makes sure Evan will be taken care of. He also said that in his 7 years of practicing oncology in a practice, he has never seen Hurthle Cell Carcinoma. And he also said that he feels like there are probably LESS THAN 400 cases ever! We had heard 400 but he said he's not sure there are that many.
So yes, EVAN IS WEIRD! But I love him dearly. And I hope by him being weird, God will be glorified. Because I feel certain that God is using my Evan to change the lives of those around him. And if you don't believe me, ask Evan about the email he received from a guy in his industry who said he wants to ask God back into his life because of Evan's story. I'm not making that up. I saw it with my own eyes. And I am honored and privileged to be married to a man who can take cancer and faith and build a beautiful story.
Keep up the prayers as this all will be days/months/years of continued follow-up. And we still don't know exactly what the future holds. But God is good and He has the ultimate plan.

Transparency

It must be the way I wrinkle my brow. Or the way I tighten my lips. But I have figured out that people judge how to act around me even before I open my mouth. Not strangers of course. But those that are around me often. I must just be able to give off a vibe that warns people about my mood.

Is it because I am female? Is it because I am moody? I have no clue. I just know that it happens.

Especially at work. I can tell that the men in the office look at me and decide how to proceed. Sometimes it's a good thing, especially when I want to be left alone. Sometimes it sucks because they misinterpret my mood and act weird.

And then there is the crying. Good Lord why did you make me a crier? The woman who likes to be stoic and hardcore. Until she starts to cry when she hears a song, especially songs at church. Or I start to think about life in general and tears well up. And for some reason, the tears bring on red circles that glow around my eyes. Even if it's just one tear, my whole upper face turns beet red. And anyone around me all the sudden goes into "OH CRAP LORI IS CRYING" mode. And most of the time it is absolutely nothing wrong or that anyone should care about. But it happens. Sometimes it's embarrassing and alot of times it brings on undo attention.

So I will ask why? Why am I so transparent? I would say I got it from my dad. The man who cries at every wedding and can not talk in front of people without getting choked up. Yep, I bet that's where I got it from. And as much as I hate when it happens, I guess part of me is thankful that I have a little bit of my dad that gleams from my soul. Love that man.

A Great Weekend

On Saturday afternoon, we traveled to Mountain City, GA (original home of the Zoellner family) to see my brother get married. It was a beautiful wedding full of love and joy. I am so happy for them, especially my brother who is just smitten with his new wife. They are two peas in a pod in my opinion and I wish then nothing but the best.
After the wedding, we went right up the road to Dillard, GA and stayed at The Dillard House. If you have not been to Dillard, it's a beautiful town up in North Georgia that is the last town on 441 before you get to Highlands, NC. And if you have not been to the Dillard House, you are missing a treat. It's the most wonderful restaurant for true Southern cooking that you could ever eat at. Here's a link to the menu. I have eaten breakfast, lunch and dinner there and they are all exceptional. My favorite is breakfast though. Nothing beats country ham and biscuits. And it's all served family style but you do not have to sit with strangers at your table like some Southern restaurants.

The lodging at the Dillard House ranges from "campy"(the older rooms and chalets) and elegant (the new rooms). You might want to spend a little more and get one of the new rooms as you will love the bedding and bathroom upgrades. Our beds were very cozy and the bathroom was huge. Four stars in my opinion and I'm very picky! I meant to get some pictures of our room, but I forgot!

The view from all of the rooms is beautiful.

And there is a barn and working stables on the property that all guests are welcome to enjoy. The are horses, cows, chickens and pigs. And they have some very interesting animals there too. My kids loved spending time looking at the llama, Himalayan cattle and the longhorn steer. And there were newborn baby goats that were a lot of fun to watch. We spent the better part of an hour just staring at the animals. And they all come right up to the fences and let you pet them if you want. It's a kids dream. And of course I loved it since I want to have a farm in my next life!

I highly recommend considering a trip to Dillard if you have a free weekend and want to get away, but not too far. It takes about two and a half hours to get there. But it's a nice drive and well worth the trip!

This kid carries my heart

This kid carries 1/3 of my heart around with him each and every day. And that part he stole. From the moment I first saw him, I knew that he would be Mama's boy. And he has managed to steal a few other hearts along the way.

Most people say he looks alot like me. When I see him, I see my dad. Which I think is pretty neat. Because I adore them both.

And in all things give thanks

I have decided today that I am going to make of list of a few of the things I am thankful for in light of all the things that life has entailed lately. Because as hard as some of this journey has seemed, the glory of God continues to shine brighter than ever on our family. So here goes- things I am thankful for:

1. Family- I have amazing in-laws (I hate even calling them that because they really are just a second set of parents to me). They do everything that we could ever need to get through the days. And they love the 4 of us unconditionally and with all that they have. I always feel like I must be in a dream since must people don't "like" their in-laws. But I LOVE mine and it is wonderful. And I so deeply appreciate that my mother-in-law tells me without fail that she loves me- because she does. And that to me is awesome.

And my parents are pretty amazing too. They are pretty busy these days, but never fail to call and ask how Evan is doing. And it is so sweet to me that my Mom begins to cry every time I talk about going to the doctor with Evan. She is his biggest fan and he is her favorite son-in-law.

And my brother called to tell Evan that he loved him the other day.

And my aunt who I never get to see called to say that she was praying for us daily and that she admired the love that Evan and I share.

All that being said- I am so very thankful for family.

2. Friends. We have friends that have been around since elementary school. Some from high school, college and church. Some have been around for 25 years, some for a year or two. But they all have managed to be ever present when we need them most.

We have best friends that have rallied around us and been constant support. We have friends from far away that have sent notes and well wishes. We've had dinners brought and problems handled for us. And I will never be able to thank everyone properly for all that they have done. But I will make sure and thank God for all of the wonderful people he has surrounded us with.

3. Church. It has been overwhelming to hear and see the number of people that have been praying for our family throughout this time. We have a really great church with people of all ages who truly care about those that they come in contact with. It's amazing to hear that a women's bible study spent time praying for Evan and our family as he went through treatment. And oh the food! They kept us fed when the last thing I was worried about was cooking. And for our church and its people, I am forever thankful.

4. Health insurance. I know that this is the greatest debate to ever hit Congress. But in my opinion, we are so very blessed to have insurance. It might not be the cheapest or the best, but good grief it has been one part of this whole journey that I have not had to worry about.

5. Good bosses. Evan's boss and my boss have been pretty cool about everything that has been going on. There have been so many appointments and times when we have been away from work. But both of them have really allowed us to do what we need to, when we need to. And it has been so nice to not have to stress out about work when we stress out are already stressing out about medical stuff. So again, I am thankful for good jobs and caring bosses.

6. My sweet little family. We have an angel for a daughter and a fun-loving sweet little son. They keep all of this very real for us. They are the reason that each day we fight harder to make sure all is well. They make us smile, they make life worth it all. They love Jesus and you can see it in them. They give us challenges but the rewards are not measurable. We love our babies and I thank God so much for allowing us to parent so neat little people.

And of course I am married to the greatest man ever. Who in my opinion has done the best he can to keep life as normal as possible right now. He has a sweet spirit a good attitude and is as positive as ever about life in general. And that's pretty amazing. And for him I am forever thankful and not worthy.

Yay for pictures!

This will be short tonight. I got a nifty new camera and I am going to read up on all of the cool features. It's the first "nice" camera I think I've ever owned. So I leave you with a few pictures with a promise that my photography will get better as I learn how to use my new toy.