It's a boy! No wait, it' a lymph node

Today is ultrasound day for Evan. He's going to have a neck ultrasound to see if they can pinpoint the size and location of the lymph node(s) that are showing up as cancerous on his previous scan.
I am hoping that they see nothing. I want to hear that this ultrasound was a waste of time because there is not anything to see. I want it gone.
I'll let you know how it goes when we get the results back. Pray please that we will get them back soon. As waiting only makes all of this more difficult.

And the doctor said, "Is he weird?"

Let me start by saying that for the first time in 6 months I feel like I can breathe.
I feel like I completely understand Evan's health and what lies ahead in the future.
I feel as though I can trust doctors again. And for all of you who come here to get your updates, here is why-
Yesterday we met with Evan's oncologist. Let me preface all of this by saying that the first time we met with this guy I was NOT impressed. I just had the feeling that this particular doctor treated us as though we were overly concerned. He seemed to be uninterested and bothered by us being there. And I blamed all of his demeanor on the fact that he did not consider thyroid cancer to be one of his specialties. So I was ready to find another doctor. And I'm pretty sure Evan was too. But something changed and it was for the good.
When we met yesterday, we (me and Evan) went in ready to obtain copies of all of his records and tell this doctor that we were ready to take Evan's health elsewhere. That didn't happen. From the second we sat down until the second we left the building, Dr.K did all he could to prove that he was ALL OVER Evan's case. As it turns out, I think the doctor was bombarded the first time with Evan's paperwork and we saw him too soon after he received the records. I feel certain he had NO IDEA that he was seeing a 33 year old male with Hurthle Cell Carcinoma. And he was not ready to give any opinions at that point as he was ill prepared.
But yesterday was totally different. Dr. K called other specialists, read up on Hurthle and was ready to tell us yesterday that he had a doctor at Emory he felt certain could be of help in Evan's case. He admitted that it will take a team of specialists to figure this all out. And he vowed to make sure that Evan has every test needed to ensure that his cancer is contained and eventually destroyed. He also went over the most recent blood work with us and the results were answers to prayer. Evan's thyroglobulin levels were at a point where we KNOW that the radiation is continuing to work. And there is a chance that the cancer is almost GONE! And if it's not, we will find out from an ultrasound later this week. At which point, decisions can be made.
So I am one happy girl, I don't know why I ever doubted that God would get us to a good place. But He has. There is a plan and a timeline. And for that I am thankful.
As a side note, Dr. K turned to me yesterday and said, "Is he weird, because this is all weird!". I appreciated that. A doctor who admits that he is baffled and at the same time makes sure Evan will be taken care of. He also said that in his 7 years of practicing oncology in a practice, he has never seen Hurthle Cell Carcinoma. And he also said that he feels like there are probably LESS THAN 400 cases ever! We had heard 400 but he said he's not sure there are that many.
So yes, EVAN IS WEIRD! But I love him dearly. And I hope by him being weird, God will be glorified. Because I feel certain that God is using my Evan to change the lives of those around him. And if you don't believe me, ask Evan about the email he received from a guy in his industry who said he wants to ask God back into his life because of Evan's story. I'm not making that up. I saw it with my own eyes. And I am honored and privileged to be married to a man who can take cancer and faith and build a beautiful story.
Keep up the prayers as this all will be days/months/years of continued follow-up. And we still don't know exactly what the future holds. But God is good and He has the ultimate plan.

I used to blog, and it was bad

In case you want to see what I was up to a few years ago:
lzbryant.wordpress.com
Makes for a good read if you are bored to tears at work!

Blogging Giveaway!!

I feel bad for my readers. All 3 of you. Because you come here loyally and all I have managed to give you to read has been ranting and depressing posts. Oh goodness, I am so sorry for that! And I'm surprised anyone still reads what I write. Except that I imagine you all want to know when the train is going to wreck (haha)!

So because you few are so very loyal, I have decided to have a giveaway. Mostly it's to reward you for continually spying on my life, but also it's because I aspire to be of professional blog status. Ok, I'm just kidding about that. I'll keep my day job. But everyone knows that all good blogs must have a giveaway. So here goes! The winner will receive a $25 gift card to the restaurant of his/her choosing!

Lori's Super Blogging Contest #1 Rules:

1. You must be a follower to be entered. If you want to follow, make the commitment. Because it's about commitment people! If you don't want to follow, I will take that to mean that I'm not good enough for you (just kidding!).

2. You must make a comment on this post and answer this question: What would you like to know most about Lori Bryant. Anything goes.

3. You should also include your name and email along with what restaurant you would like to have a gift card from as your prize.

4. All entries must be received by noon on April 1st, 2010 est.

5. All entries will be assigned a number and I will randomly generate the winning number using random.org. I will announce the winner here by 8:00PM April 1st.

**And as a bonus to every one, I will answer ALL of the questions that are asked of me in the contest. So make them good!

AND GOOD LUCK!

The Farmer in the dell

We had a really great Sunday.

It all started with church of course. And boy am I glad we were there. The message was unbelievable and I would say it was written for Evan. It was from Galatians and talked about bearing each others burdens. And lately we have had to get used to allowing others to take some of the burden for us. It's been hard, but the message showed that it is ok to have help and to ask for help. But we should always remember to return the favor when others are in need. Loved the message! And love the guy who delivered the message, Coenraad Brand. A new friend of ours and the intern at our church. Here he is in action.

After church, we ate with friends from college. It was so nice to catch up with them and get to spend time visiting with them and their sweet little girl. It's also nice to know that we have friends who remain true even when we don't get to see each other as much as we would like to.

After lunch, we went home and did a little laundry before heading out to Home Depot. We are tryiing to find a new riding lawn mower so we went to investigate our options. We did not come home with a lawn mower, but we did come home with this:

a tomato plant

cucumber seedlings

a pepper plant

2 bags of soil

a window planter

and a rose bush

All because I got caught up in looking at all of the cool stuff Home Depot had sitting in the middle of the aisles in the gardening section. And since I have always aspired to live on a farm, I thought why not start a small farm in our kitchen. Since of course I could not plant anything in our yard because of the deer.

So here is what I ended up with, an indoor farm that I'm sure will make Martha Stewart proud. As long as I don't kill it of course. I envision coming home and picking fresh veggies and making all kinds of beautiful salads (haha)!

And here is a picture of my sweet little farming helper. And one of daddy and his helper. They managed to clean out some small trees and bushes from one of the islands by our house. It was so cute to see her helping her dad when I thought she would rather be planting stuff with me. She is certainly a daddy's girl and I have my little mama's boy.

Well I'm not you and yes it is different

I'm not sure if you've seen the commercial on tv where the characters are talking about how they are not a number, they are not just a patient, they are human and they are people that want what's best for their situation.
Sadly I have grown fond of that commercial. Because it's how I feel. Evan is a person. I am a person. Our family is made up of four God created human beings. And we want what's best for our situation. Not what might be a good alternative or what one person might think will work. We want to know that decisions we make are what will lead to our lives returning to normal. And so far, that seems to be hard to achieve.
One of my least favorite things that people enjoy saying to us is, "Well you're just going to have to take control of your own health and worry about what you feel is best (blah, blah, blah)....."
GOOD LORD PEOPLE, do you not think that we are trying to keep control of what is going on?
Frankly I don't care if you think that waiting 3 more days to see a doctor is good enough. If that is the decision that fits best for Evan, be understanding! I want to just scream at people who think that we can't handle things on our own. We have relatives who apparently know better than we do. We have people at church who know what's best for us. We even have friends that put in their two cents. But what they all need to do is be supportive and pray that God will lead us down the path most favored by Him. And he is NOT going to lead us astray. So why waste your breath on telling us what we are doing wrong?
And while I'm ranting, I understand that your aunt on your dad's side had thyroid cancer and that she is just fine, but your aunt and my husband are different. And I understand that your neighbor had radiation treatment and she got out in 2 days and not a week. But she is not my husband. And I understand that your doctor was great and that your feel like we should see them too. But that's our decision to make. We'll ask you to send us the number if we need it.
All that being said, I am thankful for those of you who listen to our plans and agree and love and comfort regardless of whether you agree or not with decisions we make. It is nice to know that we have friends that came equipped with filters!

Transparency

It must be the way I wrinkle my brow. Or the way I tighten my lips. But I have figured out that people judge how to act around me even before I open my mouth. Not strangers of course. But those that are around me often. I must just be able to give off a vibe that warns people about my mood.

Is it because I am female? Is it because I am moody? I have no clue. I just know that it happens.

Especially at work. I can tell that the men in the office look at me and decide how to proceed. Sometimes it's a good thing, especially when I want to be left alone. Sometimes it sucks because they misinterpret my mood and act weird.

And then there is the crying. Good Lord why did you make me a crier? The woman who likes to be stoic and hardcore. Until she starts to cry when she hears a song, especially songs at church. Or I start to think about life in general and tears well up. And for some reason, the tears bring on red circles that glow around my eyes. Even if it's just one tear, my whole upper face turns beet red. And anyone around me all the sudden goes into "OH CRAP LORI IS CRYING" mode. And most of the time it is absolutely nothing wrong or that anyone should care about. But it happens. Sometimes it's embarrassing and alot of times it brings on undo attention.

So I will ask why? Why am I so transparent? I would say I got it from my dad. The man who cries at every wedding and can not talk in front of people without getting choked up. Yep, I bet that's where I got it from. And as much as I hate when it happens, I guess part of me is thankful that I have a little bit of my dad that gleams from my soul. Love that man.

It means more now than ever

Here's the song we danced to when we got married.
It's beautiful and so true. I would do anything.

Too Make You Feel My Love (Garth Brooks)

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love
When evening shadows and the stars appear
And there's is no one to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
There's no doubt in my mind where you belong
I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
There ain't nothing' that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love
The storms are raging on a rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothin' like me yet
There ain't nothin' that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
Make you happy make your dreams come true
To make you feel my love

A Great Weekend

On Saturday afternoon, we traveled to Mountain City, GA (original home of the Zoellner family) to see my brother get married. It was a beautiful wedding full of love and joy. I am so happy for them, especially my brother who is just smitten with his new wife. They are two peas in a pod in my opinion and I wish then nothing but the best.
After the wedding, we went right up the road to Dillard, GA and stayed at The Dillard House. If you have not been to Dillard, it's a beautiful town up in North Georgia that is the last town on 441 before you get to Highlands, NC. And if you have not been to the Dillard House, you are missing a treat. It's the most wonderful restaurant for true Southern cooking that you could ever eat at. Here's a link to the menu. I have eaten breakfast, lunch and dinner there and they are all exceptional. My favorite is breakfast though. Nothing beats country ham and biscuits. And it's all served family style but you do not have to sit with strangers at your table like some Southern restaurants.

The lodging at the Dillard House ranges from "campy"(the older rooms and chalets) and elegant (the new rooms). You might want to spend a little more and get one of the new rooms as you will love the bedding and bathroom upgrades. Our beds were very cozy and the bathroom was huge. Four stars in my opinion and I'm very picky! I meant to get some pictures of our room, but I forgot!

The view from all of the rooms is beautiful.

And there is a barn and working stables on the property that all guests are welcome to enjoy. The are horses, cows, chickens and pigs. And they have some very interesting animals there too. My kids loved spending time looking at the llama, Himalayan cattle and the longhorn steer. And there were newborn baby goats that were a lot of fun to watch. We spent the better part of an hour just staring at the animals. And they all come right up to the fences and let you pet them if you want. It's a kids dream. And of course I loved it since I want to have a farm in my next life!

I highly recommend considering a trip to Dillard if you have a free weekend and want to get away, but not too far. It takes about two and a half hours to get there. But it's a nice drive and well worth the trip!

This kid carries my heart

This kid carries 1/3 of my heart around with him each and every day. And that part he stole. From the moment I first saw him, I knew that he would be Mama's boy. And he has managed to steal a few other hearts along the way.

Most people say he looks alot like me. When I see him, I see my dad. Which I think is pretty neat. Because I adore them both.

If only I would listen

For weeks now I have been looking at Matthew 6:34. In case you don't know what it says, here is the text: "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." (NIV)
In some versions of this passage the word "worry" is substituted by the word "anxious". In my case, both of these words apply. I am both worried and anxious. And the interesting thing about my worry and anxiety is that I KNOW BETTER. I know that we will be taken care of. I know that there is a plan that was set forth for our lives even before we were born. I know, I know, I know. And yet I let the devil and the world around me seem bigger than God. And they are not. For I will continue to lean on God and pray that I will trust that he will lead us in the direction where we need to be.
Dear God,
I give you my worries, my troubles and my anxiety. And I will take the peace that comes only from my relationship with you. AMEN

Funk

I'm in a funk. I shouldn't be- I just am. I physically feel like crap. I can't keep my hands from tingling and shaking and my head hurts and is stopped up. Probably just the pollen and weather changes and me drinking too much caffeine.
Mentally I'm just toast. I can't seem to think and when I do it's usually not what others want to hear. I would love to have a sign that read "Leave me alone" on my shirt.
I am upset with my self for things I've said recently, but at the same time I don't feel like I said anything that was not truly how I felt.
I'm annoyed that I can't predict what the future brings.
I'm frustrated by the fact that I don't have the answers to everything.
I'm mad that life has taken us where it has.
I need a vacation but that will not happen any time soon.
I have so much to do to get ready for this weekend and my brother's wedding. But I don't have the drive or energy to think about it. But it will get done.

And so there you have it. The most depressing post one could ask for. But it makes me feel better to type it out.

And in all things give thanks

I have decided today that I am going to make of list of a few of the things I am thankful for in light of all the things that life has entailed lately. Because as hard as some of this journey has seemed, the glory of God continues to shine brighter than ever on our family. So here goes- things I am thankful for:

1. Family- I have amazing in-laws (I hate even calling them that because they really are just a second set of parents to me). They do everything that we could ever need to get through the days. And they love the 4 of us unconditionally and with all that they have. I always feel like I must be in a dream since must people don't "like" their in-laws. But I LOVE mine and it is wonderful. And I so deeply appreciate that my mother-in-law tells me without fail that she loves me- because she does. And that to me is awesome.

And my parents are pretty amazing too. They are pretty busy these days, but never fail to call and ask how Evan is doing. And it is so sweet to me that my Mom begins to cry every time I talk about going to the doctor with Evan. She is his biggest fan and he is her favorite son-in-law.

And my brother called to tell Evan that he loved him the other day.

And my aunt who I never get to see called to say that she was praying for us daily and that she admired the love that Evan and I share.

All that being said- I am so very thankful for family.

2. Friends. We have friends that have been around since elementary school. Some from high school, college and church. Some have been around for 25 years, some for a year or two. But they all have managed to be ever present when we need them most.

We have best friends that have rallied around us and been constant support. We have friends from far away that have sent notes and well wishes. We've had dinners brought and problems handled for us. And I will never be able to thank everyone properly for all that they have done. But I will make sure and thank God for all of the wonderful people he has surrounded us with.

3. Church. It has been overwhelming to hear and see the number of people that have been praying for our family throughout this time. We have a really great church with people of all ages who truly care about those that they come in contact with. It's amazing to hear that a women's bible study spent time praying for Evan and our family as he went through treatment. And oh the food! They kept us fed when the last thing I was worried about was cooking. And for our church and its people, I am forever thankful.

4. Health insurance. I know that this is the greatest debate to ever hit Congress. But in my opinion, we are so very blessed to have insurance. It might not be the cheapest or the best, but good grief it has been one part of this whole journey that I have not had to worry about.

5. Good bosses. Evan's boss and my boss have been pretty cool about everything that has been going on. There have been so many appointments and times when we have been away from work. But both of them have really allowed us to do what we need to, when we need to. And it has been so nice to not have to stress out about work when we stress out are already stressing out about medical stuff. So again, I am thankful for good jobs and caring bosses.

6. My sweet little family. We have an angel for a daughter and a fun-loving sweet little son. They keep all of this very real for us. They are the reason that each day we fight harder to make sure all is well. They make us smile, they make life worth it all. They love Jesus and you can see it in them. They give us challenges but the rewards are not measurable. We love our babies and I thank God so much for allowing us to parent so neat little people.

And of course I am married to the greatest man ever. Who in my opinion has done the best he can to keep life as normal as possible right now. He has a sweet spirit a good attitude and is as positive as ever about life in general. And that's pretty amazing. And for him I am forever thankful and not worthy.

Not just on my toe anymore

Phil 4:13-" I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength"

If you know me, you know that I have wanted to get another tattoo for a while now. And for some reason I just haven't- until yesterday. I was lucky enough to get to spend several hours in our local tattoo parlor with best friend Bee. I went first, and mine took all of twenty minutes. But it is exactly what I wanted and I was thrilled. And then I got to watch as Bee got her first tattoo. And I must say that her's turned out awesome. Which I am really glad about since I was feeling somewhat nervous about our artist who had the world's worst case of Adult ADHD! I was so hoping that he could focus for long enough to understand that not just any design was going to do. And he did! And he did a phenomenal job. We were both really happy. And happy we did it together. And what a fun day we had seeing all that goes on in a tattoo joint in Peachtree City. Totally worth the wait we had. Better than any episode of LA INK.

And so the journey continues...

To quote my husband, "It could have been better, but it could have been a whole lot worse."
And with that I will be thankful for how the doctor's appointment went today.
I think we both had mentally prepared ourselves for the worst. So it is hard to explain what our reaction was like when the doctor told us what Evan's scan results showed.
I think we were both relieved. So relieved that I feel like we might have missed asking questions and chatting more with the doctor. But that is ok. We have time to ask questions. Once the relief has it's moment of joy.
I still haven't told you why the relief so here goes. Evan's cancer has only spread to one area, the lymph nodes in the left side of his neck. Obviously we would have liked to have no spread at all. But it did and if we had to pick a place for it to spread, I imagine it would be the lymph nodes in his neck. Why you ask? Because they can be dealt with. And that is what our goal is- to deal with the cancer now and get it gone. So he will most likely be having a lymph node dissection (removal of the lymph nodes in his neck- left side). No chemotherapy, no radiation, just get in there and remove the remaining cancer. And that my friends is why we are relieved.
So I covet your prayers as we continue on getting answers about the next steps in getting this cancer completely out of our lives.
And I thank God that we got the results we did. And I love Evan.

Hell did not freeze over, I just cooked dinner

That's right people, I did something I never do- I cooked dinner. I know for most people that sounds odd. But I'm just not a cook. I can cook. It's not from a lack of ability. I just don't really enjoy it and it is so time consuming that I get bogged down. But I have been inspired by this wonderful woman. And so tonight I tried a recipe and I would say it turned out pretty darn good.

It's from foodnetwork.com and specifically it's from the show "Five Ingredient Fix". The recipe is called Bleu Cheese Stuffed Filets. I think anyone can make this recipe and most people would enjoy it. But 4 year olds aren't especially fond of the bleu cheese flavor.

FYI- If you decide to make this recipe, follow my version of it and use a lesser quality steak than filet. I used sirloin filets and paid $12 for 4. I priced the filets and they would have been $44. Plus, I use Danish Bleu Cheese from Publix for $5.59. Stilton was $20 for the same amount and that is what the original recipe called for.

Here's the recipe and how I changed it up a little:

Ingredients
1 stick butter, room temperature
6 ounces Bleu cheese, cut into chunks
4 4 to 6 ounces steaks (I recommend a sirloin filet- cheap but good- not filet mignon- too pricey

Freshly ground black pepper
2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
Directions
In a food processor, pulse butter until whipped, and then add cheese. Pulse again just until incorporated. Dollop the compound butter towards 1 side of a piece of plastic wrap. Roll into a log, twisting opposite ways on both ends to create a tightly wrapped log of butter. Refrigerate for at least 1 hour to set. (Can be stored up to 1 week in the refrigerator and up to 1 month in the freezer.) This could be made into 2 logs, as you will only need half this recipe for the steaks.
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
Once butter log is set, slice 1/2 the whole log into 1/4-inch disks. Cut a slit in the side of each fillet, and stuff with a butter disk. Tie each fillet with kitchen twine to keep it shape and sprinkle pepper each side.
Add the olive oil to a large oven-proof skillet over medium-high heat. Once hot, sear each fillet until brown on both sides, about 3 to 5 minutes per side. Move skillet into the preheated oven to cook to desired doneness. Put another disk of the compound butter on top of each fillet just about 3 minutes before removing from oven, to just begin to melt but not melted completely. Remove from the oven and place on serving plates. Eat and enjoy!

It should be just another Tuesday

I did not know that I would feel like I do today. I did not know that I would be so distracted. So anxious and unable to focus. It all makes sense as to why I feel the way I do, but I did not know that my mind and body are reacting the way they are. I feel I could cry at any moment and I am really not paying much attention to what is going on around me. I can't help but think about what tomorrow might bring for our family. And I try to think about what what we hope it will bring for our family.
As I was driving home from the ball fields last night, I had an overwhelming feeling come over me. Not one of comfort and peace as I had hoped, but one of complete fear. I can tell you exactly where I was on the road and I have no idea why at that point I felt like I did. And it really was traumatic and disheartening. And I pray that God will give me feeling to wash that one away. I'm just hoping it was Satan himself trying to get me down, fo I know I can fight back if that's the case.
So tomorrow is the day. Wednesday, March 10, 2010. The day we hope that this will all be over. The journey that started on November 13, 2009. The journey took an unexpected turn on February 9, 2010.

Yay for pictures!

This will be short tonight. I got a nifty new camera and I am going to read up on all of the cool features. It's the first "nice" camera I think I've ever owned. So I leave you with a few pictures with a promise that my photography will get better as I learn how to use my new toy.

A Great Weekend and an anxious wait

Friday we went to the hospital early in the morning for Evan's full body scan. It all went ok, took alot longer than it should have, but it is done. Unfortunately, we have to wait until Wednesday to get any results. Hence why I am anxious. But in the meantime, we had a great weekend together.
The rest of Friday we enjoyed time together as a family. The quarantine was lifted and we went to the mall, went to dinner and spent time with the kids. It was the first time we were all together and well in over a week! So we really enjoyed the time.
Saturday was T-ball practice, some house cleaning and a baby shower. Followed by going to the Tech Basketball game and eating at PF Changs. We had such a good time being together. the Jackets played really awful but being out and having family time was good. And dinner was so good. LOVE PF CHANGS!
Finally Sunday we were able to get back to church and enjoy an amazing worship service. And it was nice to see all of our friends. Although it is very overwhelming having so many people coming up to us and asking how things are.
In the afternoon I did some grocery shopping, Evan took a little nap. Then Chad and Bee came over, Bee and Haley cooked lasagna and we had an awesome dinner together.
And so a good weekend is coming to an end. But it was good. And it kept our minds off of Wednesday. Which we are hoping will be the end of this chapter in our lives.

wtf beringer?

So I have decided to get off of the subject of cancer tonight. Mainly because I am tired of giving it my time. And because I had one of those moments tonight that I just must document.

I am an individual who feels that when life is stressful, it is ok to drink. I know that this is an interesting fact coming from a Christian, but I would like to believe that God made the man that made the wine to make His people happy. I am sorry if this is twisted theology, but I think that God loves me regardless of the fact that I enjoy occasionally drinking liquid that makes me laugh and relax and calm down from this world's stresses. So disagree if you must, but here is my story from tonight that includes wine.

We have had a stressful week. You all know that much if you have been reading this blog. So as I was leaving the Kroger form picking up my blood pressure meds (another story for a different day) I wondered into the wine section. I went DIRECTLY to the spot that I always find my BELOVED Beringer White Zinfandel.

**I'm going to get off subject for a minute. Anyone who knows anything about wine knows that White Zinfandel is cheap and so not chic. And my answer to that is- SO! See I have been consuming wine for some time now (too long for law enforcement) and I have tried all wines. The expensive ones, the fancy named ones, the ones made of famous grapes, the ones made from grapes owned by famous people, blah, blah, blah..) and I HAVE NEVVVEEERRRR found a wine I enjoy more than a good glass of White Zinfandel. Ok, I will even admit that I enjoy the cheap White Zinfandel- I attribute this to the fact that my mother drank Champale (no- not while she was pregnant with me!). If you have no idea what Champale is- google it. It is CHEAP and CHEAP- that's it.

So anyway, back to my story. I went to the EXACT spot that I ALWAYS find my Beringer White Zinfandel, and low and behold it was gone. The nice people at the Kroger decided to move things around. But luckily there was signage. And right above my head on the other side of the aisle was a large sign that said "WHITE ZINFANDEL" pretty as you please. So I made my way around to the other side, find the all-too-familiar Beringer label and grabbed my bottle. As a bonus I noticed that it was marked down to 2 for $10.00. Man I love me some Kroger! So I was off to the checkout. 1 bottle of Beringer Zin, 1 bag of M&Ms for Britt and one pack of Reese's for Haley. See, gotta be fair. And I checked out in record time. We went home, relaxed a while and I went to the kitchen to get my relaxer.

As I was opening the bottle that was just not cooperating, I took a glimpse at the label and then took a gasp. Much to my surprise, the label read "WHITE MERLOT"! But I am NOT CRAZY. The bottle looked just like what i always get. Same beautiful color. But someone decided to f with my zinfandel and come up with some new trendy merlot that is an imposter of zinfandel. And to that person I would like to say- you are messing with the wrong girl! Because I was looking forward to my nice relaxing drink and you had to go and make it taste like some dry shoe leather poop. So tomorrow I must return to the Kroger, for this little incident has made me even more anxious to enjoy a glass of my beloved, cheap wonderful friend.

And just in case you think I might be crazy and am just wrong, here I give you exhibit A:

the wine I love.

And Exhibit B:

The imposter

See- I am not crazy! Ok, maybe I am since I just wrote a really long blog about this.

I've lost count of the days

Very short post tonight as I am tired and need to get some rest.
Here are a few of the highlights of our day today-
1. Work was crazy
2. I brought Taco Bell home for lunch
3. Evan still feels good and is a puzzle putting together fool!
4. Haley has some nasty virus (or at least we hope that is what it is) She is quarantined at the in-laws.
5. Britton showed us his dancing tonight, Evan watched from a distance. Hilarious and cute all at the same time.
6. We had a crappy dinner because I didn't feel like cooking.
7. We had a surprise dessert show up at our door at 9:00. Red Velvet Cheesecake from Chad and Bee. Lifesavers these people are and they made Evan the happiest man alive!
8. Less than 2 days till the scan- anxious.
9. Hopefully we will received the all clear from radiation on Friday and Evan can join the general public again.
10. We are blessed.
Good night!

He emerged from the room

Today at 2:00 we reached the 4 day mark since Evan's radiation ingest. And with that, he came out of our room for 30 minutes. I wish I had planned some big exciting celebration, but he sat on one couch on a towel and I sat far away on the other couch. And we talked about what had been going on in the world. Mainly that Kate Gosselin was going to be on Dancing with the Stars! (And yes, it's the little things in life that bring great pleasure). Oh, and we also watched part of "A Baby Story" since there is NOTHING on tv during the day.
And that was our 30 minutes.
But since he is allowed 1 hour of distant human contact, Evan emerged again at dinner to "visit" with his parents and the kids. From a safe distane of greater than 6' of course. It was great though because we all talked alot and felt like a family.
So yet another great day thanks to the prayers of others and the blessings of God above. One day closer to this all being over and me geting my man back. Oh how I miss laying next to him at night.

Sunday Evening Supper-Yum

Big Thanks go out to Chad and Bee- our very best friends. Bee was nice enough to came pick Haley up yesterday (she was going to get both kids but Britt had T-ball). She took Haley to her house and baked cookies and hung out.
What I want to write about is the fun time we had when they got home. Bee and Haley brought all the ingredients to make pizzas together. Both kids took turns adding pepperoni, sprinkling cheese (or dumping cheese!) and creating the best pizza ever. It really is so much better when it is made at home. And Evan LOVED that the kids helped and he got to enjoy it, even if it was in his isolation.
I wish now that I had taken pictures. But trust me it was a very cool time.
Thanks again Chad and Bee- we love you both!

Day 6- back to work I went

I got myself up and headed out to work this morning. Leaving Evan still in isolation with some banana bread (thanks Vic!), fruit and yogurt for breakfast. Luckily my boss has been very cool and I am only working half days this week. So I am leaving at 12 and getting home in time to take lunch into the patient.

Speaking of lunch- Publix really disappointed today. The subs I picked up were AWFUL! The bread was rock hard, the meat was dated and so were the veggies. Yuck! I almost called them, but I just didn't really feel like getting into a phone conversation about bad sandwiches.

I did however make several purchases from the BOGO section. My goodness- Publix is really awesome with these deals!

Tonight for dinner we had pork tenderloin, homemade mashed potatoes and green beans courtesy of our friend Randy. Words can not express how yummy it was.

And finally today I will leave you with 2 prayer requests:

1. Clean scan on Friday. I can not ask enough for prayers in this regards. NO MORE CANCER!

2. A better nights sleep for me tonight. I have been on the couch (which is not bad at all) but I find myself waking up every hour in a frantic state. Almost as if I am worried all the time. And this does not make getting up in the morning very easy.

Thanks for praying and following our journey. In case I haven't said it lately, I love Evan to pieces and this is going to make us stronger than ever.