In the Mirror

When I look in the mirror I see a big girl.
When I was 16 and weighed less than 100 pounds, I saw a big girl.
I have always struggled to be happy with my weight.
Especially now that I have lived the last several years being overweight.
I simply just decided at some point that I was big and I was just going to be that way.
That's sad.
It's sad that I would except high blood pressure and high cholesterol.
It's sad that I didn't care about my health.
It's sad it took my husband having cancer to decide that I had to live again.
But I am choosing to live again.
That I'm not sad about.

I just hope that throughout this journey, I can convince myself that my life is not about the number on the scale or the image I see in the mirror.
It's really about being healthy and living life to the fullest.
I need to stop looking at that person in the mirror as if she will always be big.
I need to start seeing a work in progress. Someone that struggles but does care about her health.

So that's a goal I have on top of shedding the pounds. Not only do I want to lose 40 pounds total, I also want to look at myself and be proud of who I am.