1.17.2011

On Disappointment

I haven't blogged much lately for fear of disappointment.
I don't like to put something out there that is half ass just for the sake of having something.
In fact, I don't believe in half assed work.
Not at all.
I believe in nothing but your best.
And it has really caught up with me lately when it comes to my relationship with others.
It seems like I find myself being disappointed by others more and more.
I keep telling myself that not everyone is like me.
Not everyone has the abilities or energy that I do.
Frankly, not everyone had the drive instilled in them that I did.
But there is always the part of me that wants to be mad and get angry at others simply because I'm disappointed.
Here's the real problem I think- I'm just not willing to let others be disappointed in me.
So I give my everything. I will completely drain myself only to figure out that I could have done less and gotten by. And ultimately my impact isn't really that far reaching.
The only person it seems it matters to is me.
So what do I do?
Do I sit back and do less? Focus on my family and screw the needs of others?
Do I stop hosting the parties and get togethers? Someone else can do it right?
Do I stop giving of myself, my time and my resources and start actually doing more for my household?
Nope.
I can't.
Because there would be one disappointed Savior upstairs who gave His all to save me and to give me all I need. And who better to mimic but Jesus himself.
I will continue to do and give until it hurts.
And more and more I've realized that to reach my true potential, I'll have to make some changes in my life. Where I'm at right now doesn't make sense with the plan I feel God has in store for me.
But I have to consider all that is best for my family.
Together we will have to prayerfully consider what God has in store.
Until then, I'll just keep kickin' butt with what I have.
It's what I do.

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