It's a boy! No wait, it' a lymph node

Today is ultrasound day for Evan. He's going to have a neck ultrasound to see if they can pinpoint the size and location of the lymph node(s) that are showing up as cancerous on his previous scan.
I am hoping that they see nothing. I want to hear that this ultrasound was a waste of time because there is not anything to see. I want it gone.
I'll let you know how it goes when we get the results back. Pray please that we will get them back soon. As waiting only makes all of this more difficult.

And the doctor said, "Is he weird?"

Let me start by saying that for the first time in 6 months I feel like I can breathe.
I feel like I completely understand Evan's health and what lies ahead in the future.
I feel as though I can trust doctors again. And for all of you who come here to get your updates, here is why-
Yesterday we met with Evan's oncologist. Let me preface all of this by saying that the first time we met with this guy I was NOT impressed. I just had the feeling that this particular doctor treated us as though we were overly concerned. He seemed to be uninterested and bothered by us being there. And I blamed all of his demeanor on the fact that he did not consider thyroid cancer to be one of his specialties. So I was ready to find another doctor. And I'm pretty sure Evan was too. But something changed and it was for the good.
When we met yesterday, we (me and Evan) went in ready to obtain copies of all of his records and tell this doctor that we were ready to take Evan's health elsewhere. That didn't happen. From the second we sat down until the second we left the building, Dr.K did all he could to prove that he was ALL OVER Evan's case. As it turns out, I think the doctor was bombarded the first time with Evan's paperwork and we saw him too soon after he received the records. I feel certain he had NO IDEA that he was seeing a 33 year old male with Hurthle Cell Carcinoma. And he was not ready to give any opinions at that point as he was ill prepared.
But yesterday was totally different. Dr. K called other specialists, read up on Hurthle and was ready to tell us yesterday that he had a doctor at Emory he felt certain could be of help in Evan's case. He admitted that it will take a team of specialists to figure this all out. And he vowed to make sure that Evan has every test needed to ensure that his cancer is contained and eventually destroyed. He also went over the most recent blood work with us and the results were answers to prayer. Evan's thyroglobulin levels were at a point where we KNOW that the radiation is continuing to work. And there is a chance that the cancer is almost GONE! And if it's not, we will find out from an ultrasound later this week. At which point, decisions can be made.
So I am one happy girl, I don't know why I ever doubted that God would get us to a good place. But He has. There is a plan and a timeline. And for that I am thankful.
As a side note, Dr. K turned to me yesterday and said, "Is he weird, because this is all weird!". I appreciated that. A doctor who admits that he is baffled and at the same time makes sure Evan will be taken care of. He also said that in his 7 years of practicing oncology in a practice, he has never seen Hurthle Cell Carcinoma. And he also said that he feels like there are probably LESS THAN 400 cases ever! We had heard 400 but he said he's not sure there are that many.
So yes, EVAN IS WEIRD! But I love him dearly. And I hope by him being weird, God will be glorified. Because I feel certain that God is using my Evan to change the lives of those around him. And if you don't believe me, ask Evan about the email he received from a guy in his industry who said he wants to ask God back into his life because of Evan's story. I'm not making that up. I saw it with my own eyes. And I am honored and privileged to be married to a man who can take cancer and faith and build a beautiful story.
Keep up the prayers as this all will be days/months/years of continued follow-up. And we still don't know exactly what the future holds. But God is good and He has the ultimate plan.

I used to blog, and it was bad

In case you want to see what I was up to a few years ago:
lzbryant.wordpress.com
Makes for a good read if you are bored to tears at work!

Blogging Giveaway!!

I feel bad for my readers. All 3 of you. Because you come here loyally and all I have managed to give you to read has been ranting and depressing posts. Oh goodness, I am so sorry for that! And I'm surprised anyone still reads what I write. Except that I imagine you all want to know when the train is going to wreck (haha)!

So because you few are so very loyal, I have decided to have a giveaway. Mostly it's to reward you for continually spying on my life, but also it's because I aspire to be of professional blog status. Ok, I'm just kidding about that. I'll keep my day job. But everyone knows that all good blogs must have a giveaway. So here goes! The winner will receive a $25 gift card to the restaurant of his/her choosing!

Lori's Super Blogging Contest #1 Rules:

1. You must be a follower to be entered. If you want to follow, make the commitment. Because it's about commitment people! If you don't want to follow, I will take that to mean that I'm not good enough for you (just kidding!).

2. You must make a comment on this post and answer this question: What would you like to know most about Lori Bryant. Anything goes.

3. You should also include your name and email along with what restaurant you would like to have a gift card from as your prize.

4. All entries must be received by noon on April 1st, 2010 est.

5. All entries will be assigned a number and I will randomly generate the winning number using random.org. I will announce the winner here by 8:00PM April 1st.

**And as a bonus to every one, I will answer ALL of the questions that are asked of me in the contest. So make them good!

AND GOOD LUCK!

The Farmer in the dell

We had a really great Sunday.

It all started with church of course. And boy am I glad we were there. The message was unbelievable and I would say it was written for Evan. It was from Galatians and talked about bearing each others burdens. And lately we have had to get used to allowing others to take some of the burden for us. It's been hard, but the message showed that it is ok to have help and to ask for help. But we should always remember to return the favor when others are in need. Loved the message! And love the guy who delivered the message, Coenraad Brand. A new friend of ours and the intern at our church. Here he is in action.

After church, we ate with friends from college. It was so nice to catch up with them and get to spend time visiting with them and their sweet little girl. It's also nice to know that we have friends who remain true even when we don't get to see each other as much as we would like to.

After lunch, we went home and did a little laundry before heading out to Home Depot. We are tryiing to find a new riding lawn mower so we went to investigate our options. We did not come home with a lawn mower, but we did come home with this:

a tomato plant

cucumber seedlings

a pepper plant

2 bags of soil

a window planter

and a rose bush

All because I got caught up in looking at all of the cool stuff Home Depot had sitting in the middle of the aisles in the gardening section. And since I have always aspired to live on a farm, I thought why not start a small farm in our kitchen. Since of course I could not plant anything in our yard because of the deer.

So here is what I ended up with, an indoor farm that I'm sure will make Martha Stewart proud. As long as I don't kill it of course. I envision coming home and picking fresh veggies and making all kinds of beautiful salads (haha)!

And here is a picture of my sweet little farming helper. And one of daddy and his helper. They managed to clean out some small trees and bushes from one of the islands by our house. It was so cute to see her helping her dad when I thought she would rather be planting stuff with me. She is certainly a daddy's girl and I have my little mama's boy.

Well I'm not you and yes it is different

I'm not sure if you've seen the commercial on tv where the characters are talking about how they are not a number, they are not just a patient, they are human and they are people that want what's best for their situation.
Sadly I have grown fond of that commercial. Because it's how I feel. Evan is a person. I am a person. Our family is made up of four God created human beings. And we want what's best for our situation. Not what might be a good alternative or what one person might think will work. We want to know that decisions we make are what will lead to our lives returning to normal. And so far, that seems to be hard to achieve.
One of my least favorite things that people enjoy saying to us is, "Well you're just going to have to take control of your own health and worry about what you feel is best (blah, blah, blah)....."
GOOD LORD PEOPLE, do you not think that we are trying to keep control of what is going on?
Frankly I don't care if you think that waiting 3 more days to see a doctor is good enough. If that is the decision that fits best for Evan, be understanding! I want to just scream at people who think that we can't handle things on our own. We have relatives who apparently know better than we do. We have people at church who know what's best for us. We even have friends that put in their two cents. But what they all need to do is be supportive and pray that God will lead us down the path most favored by Him. And he is NOT going to lead us astray. So why waste your breath on telling us what we are doing wrong?
And while I'm ranting, I understand that your aunt on your dad's side had thyroid cancer and that she is just fine, but your aunt and my husband are different. And I understand that your neighbor had radiation treatment and she got out in 2 days and not a week. But she is not my husband. And I understand that your doctor was great and that your feel like we should see them too. But that's our decision to make. We'll ask you to send us the number if we need it.
All that being said, I am thankful for those of you who listen to our plans and agree and love and comfort regardless of whether you agree or not with decisions we make. It is nice to know that we have friends that came equipped with filters!

Transparency

It must be the way I wrinkle my brow. Or the way I tighten my lips. But I have figured out that people judge how to act around me even before I open my mouth. Not strangers of course. But those that are around me often. I must just be able to give off a vibe that warns people about my mood.

Is it because I am female? Is it because I am moody? I have no clue. I just know that it happens.

Especially at work. I can tell that the men in the office look at me and decide how to proceed. Sometimes it's a good thing, especially when I want to be left alone. Sometimes it sucks because they misinterpret my mood and act weird.

And then there is the crying. Good Lord why did you make me a crier? The woman who likes to be stoic and hardcore. Until she starts to cry when she hears a song, especially songs at church. Or I start to think about life in general and tears well up. And for some reason, the tears bring on red circles that glow around my eyes. Even if it's just one tear, my whole upper face turns beet red. And anyone around me all the sudden goes into "OH CRAP LORI IS CRYING" mode. And most of the time it is absolutely nothing wrong or that anyone should care about. But it happens. Sometimes it's embarrassing and alot of times it brings on undo attention.

So I will ask why? Why am I so transparent? I would say I got it from my dad. The man who cries at every wedding and can not talk in front of people without getting choked up. Yep, I bet that's where I got it from. And as much as I hate when it happens, I guess part of me is thankful that I have a little bit of my dad that gleams from my soul. Love that man.