Grillz

I got some new teeth this week.
Kinda odd the whole process of it all.
The picture you see above is what the dentist grinded my teeth down to in order to make room for veneers.
Please don't judge and think I got veneers because I'm vain and because it's cool and Hollywood like. The truth is I have always had terrible teeth that 2 dentists have spent years bonding and capping and fixing and finally there was just nothing left to do but replace them.
So replace them I did.
It's very odd I must say. I longer have a space between my teeth at all. Anyone that has known me knows that from childhood up until after Evan and I got married, I had a huge space between my two front teeth. And then I had it filled in to a small space as an adult. But now there is no space. Kinda miss it, but mostly love my new smile.
They are pretty darn white which is kinda scary. You'll see below that they almost glow! But I'm getting used to that too. And to think I got the darkest shade they had!


And another little change I made recently was that I cleaned my closet out completely.
I no longer have clothes in there that don't fit. They all went to Goodwill.
And my closet is pretty bare since I am having a hard time spending the money it will take to completely revamp my wardrobe. So yes, you will see me in a lot of the same outfits over and over again until I can build my stash back up.
But I'm not complaining, I'm thankful to have my new healthy self to dress.
So that is it for now- New teeth and not many clothes!
And I thought age 33 would be boring!

Ta Da!

Here's the dress picture.

I'm not wild about it and I don't think it does true justice to pride I feel for being able to wear this dress.

But it was taken with an iphone and it was late at night and it was after a long work day.

But still- here I am in a size 6 dress from 1997.

And that is good enough for me!

Time to Check in

I've been away from this here blog for a while now.
No excuses really except that life is happening and it's moving quickly.
But I did want to update myself and the blog world on one small little awesome nugget of goodness.
I WEIGH THE EXACT SAME THING I WEIGHED 4 MONTHS AGO!
I know, I know. Probably not that great to most people.
But a big deal to me.
I always figured that if I ever lost the weight, I would just gain it back.
But nope. I'm bigger than that (pun intended).
I am still my now comfortable size 6.
And the other night I put on an evening gown that I wore when Evan and I were dating. And it looked great I must say. So good that I secretly wish we had somewhere to go where I could wear it.
And I also wish I had taken a picture. But since I am too lazy to right now, here is a challenge for anyone who might still read one of my blog posts.
If you will leave me a comment asking to see the dress, I will make syslef post a picture.
But you have to want to see it! I need motivation. And I need to know I'm still loved in the blog world.

Time to Dine

Here it is- the new and improved Dining Room.

Minus any decor- we are working on that part.

But I wanted to show the completed molding work below the chair rail and the new paint color.

LOVE THE PAINT COLOR!!

It's basically a charcoal gray. Or "Seal" as the Martha Stewart line of paint at Home Depot calls it.

It's perfect. Nice and dark, but not black like the kitchen.

Next up, refinishing the chandalier, recovering the chairs and decorating the walls.

All with ideas found on Pinterest.

Battle Wounds

Seems I have a little issue with moles.

Not big ugly hairy ones (of which I have none).

It seems the kind that cause problems on me are the little ones.

The one's I pay no attention to.

So much to my surprise at my yearly dermatology visit, I had 3 little moles scraped off.

It sounds worse than it is. They actually numb the area and you don't feel a thing.

1 was taken off because I hated it. It was right at my neck line on my back and I was constantly scratching it with necklaces and things. It was just a nuisance.

The other two came off because the dr. thought they looked odd.

I thought they looked like someone put a dot on me with a Sharpie.

And again, they were tiny.

So I was even more surprised when I got a call a week later that both of the little ones came back on the mild end of precancerous.

And the sweet lady on the phone said to come in, they would dig the area out around them, stitch me up and sent me on my way.

Fair enough. An not a big deal since I have had 2 moles "dug out" in the past.

So off to my appointment I went.

And then came the options. What options? I didn't know I had options!

As it turns out, the woman on the phone didn't inform me that I could choose the cut open and suture route or I could go with the "scooping" method of removal.

Here's the part that got me frustrated.

I simply asked the doctor, "What would you do?", to which he replied that it was personal preference. If he cut me open, he would only do one at a time and I'd be back in two weeks for suture removal and to get the 2nd one removed. But I had to make the decision and he left the room.

If I got them scooped, I could get them both the same day, but have gunshot wound-like places that have to be monitored closely and kept packed full of ointment. Gross.

So I wanted the sutures. And the stinkin' nurse talked me into scooping so I could get them done both that day. I probably should have gone with my instinct.

And so the doctor comes back, scoops the moles and tells me to take good care of them.

To which I said, "SO which way would you have done it if it were you?"

To which he replied, "I would have gotten the sutures if it were my body. The other way is a pain to take care of!"

And then began my utter dislike for my dermatologist.

Argh. I knew I was right.

But now I have two gunshot wounds that Evan is responsible for tending to.

Oh well, I guess you live and learn.

A Project of Course

Several months ago, I was inspired by a project I read on a blog called Finding My Feet.

The lady who writes this blog is a true go-getter and tackles projects head on.

Plus, she painted part of her kitchen black which I love since I too have black walls in my kitchen! (PS- I would paint all kinds of walls black if Evan would let me.)

But anyway, back to the project.

Raechel from Finding My Feet put Picture Frame molding around the eating area in her kitchen and I just loved it. Plus, she made it look pretty easy. So with a little convincing (of Evan), we were off to Home Depot for molding.

Now let me start by saying that we made a few mistakes that you can learn from.

Here they are:

1. Get a nail gun! Rent one or borrow one. The whole process would be so much easier.

2. Don't go to Georgia Tech and then try this project. The angles and measurements are enough to drive out type crazy! But let me just say- our angles and cuts are pretty spot on.

3. And maybe drink a glass of wine or a beer before starting. Because this can get intense otherwise.

Here is some good moves we made:

1. A level. Have to have at all times and a laser level helps as well if you have one.
2. A good saw with an Engineer for a husband. We did not have a single mis-cut!

3. Patience. Rushing this project will cause flaws and it is just too pretty to not be perfect.

So here is the reveal. And we are not done. Only the bottom of one wall is complete as we have been super busy lately. But I have to say- I LOVE IT!

Thank you Raechel who I have never met or talked to or corresponded with for being the inspiration.

And thank you Evan for agreeing to let me lead you into another project that requires you putting up with my crazy ideas.

Learned this from a blog I can't find again, but using painter's tape helps you get all of the pieces into place before making them permanent. It also gives you a nice visual before you commit to nailing to molding to the wall for real.

This is the beginnings of the one wall that is finished.
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The longest wall in the dining room. Post nailing the molding to the wall.

Primer phase. We had some rather dark gold paint in there to cover up. Plus I think it is just a good idea to prime any wall.

And the finished product. Or at least the bottom half. I have no idea what color will end up on the top half of the wall. Orange, gray, blue. Who knows? And yes, black has been rejected.

Questions lead to bone chills

Our daughter Haley is now 11. That in itself scares me as I know pretty soon we will have a teenager on our hands. And I fear teenagers. Because I was the worst kind of teenager.
But I know she will be just fine. It's everyone else's kids around her that scare me.

So anyway, we were driving down the road talking about something when Haley asked us what a P.A. was. Well, it's a Physicians Assistant. Someone who has been trained like a doctor but is generally more available for illnesses like the common cold or sinus infections. And if you are more sick than just a little cold, they know to hand you off to a doctor.
That's what we told her.
And then I turned to Evan and said that one of the thoughts I have regularly is wondering what would be different if he had seen a P.A. on the day that his cancer was found "by accident".
Let me first say that I think P.A.s are more than capable of finding all kinds of illnesses. And I am a fan of P.A.s in general.
But in Evan's story, his cancer was discovered because a doctor had missed a diagnosis in his Residency and has been paranoid his entire career about people's necks. So the story took this man being in the right place at the right time for Evan's cancer to be found.
Do you believe in God yet?
Because God put that man there. That Doctor. Not the P.A. or other doctor that Evan normally would have seen. That doctor. The one that was paranoid about necks.

So back to the story where we are talking to Haley. After I blurted out to Evan about how that day could have gone differently if he had seen a different doctor or P.A., Haley heard us talking and said, "So that doctor saved your life?".
Que spine chills.
She truly understood what went on with her dad's health.
She too was a part of the story.
The then 9 and 10 year old girl that watched a Jesus story unfold in the form of cancer in her daddy's body.
And my desire for her is that she will learn the story so well that she will share it with those she encounters in her life. And she will tell them about that doctor but also the Great Physician that saved her dad.
I don't worry about her believing in Jesus anymore. She has seen Him work.
How cool is that?

Sock it to ya

The Peachtree Road Race. An event I had no business being a part of. Except for maybe sitting on the side of the course, atop a cooler, eating a doughnut.
But no. I decided I needed to be one of the cool kids.
And you know what? I finished it damn it.
The whole 6.2 miles. I did it.
I walked most of the way. But I walked like a champ.
And I did it in style. Striped socks and all.
And at the finish I got to see my baby girl and the man of my dreams who finished 17 minutes ahead of me.
But they were there waiting. Because they knew I could do it.
Yep- I can do anything. Because I am motivated by a desire to be the best I can be for my family.
Once I was weak, but now I am strong.
The sky is the limit. Who knows what I might try next!

We have been on a much needed vacation.
This is the first full length vacation we have been on where it was just the four of us. And I have to say that is has been really refreshing.
Evan and I both resolved that we would completely forget about work and enjoy our week as care free as possible. We managed to do just that and it has been so nice.
I fear the days after we get back as I know they will be very busy. But I think the break was worth it.
A few highlights from our week were:
1. We actually slept in every day and so did our kids. Big deal as we needed the rest.
2. Britton learned to swim! And now I can actually sit back and enjoy the sun without being paranoid about him drowning. He's actually like a little fish and beat his sister by about 5 years as a swimmer since we just convinced her she had to be able to swim to go to middle school. True story.
3. Both kids will get in the ocean now and enjoy it. Before it was like a form of torture for them. Now they are wave jumping hulligans.
4. Dinner at 4:00 every day is kinda nice. And its a must in Panama City if you don't want to wait 2 hours.
5. I love vacation. I'm already planning our next one. Its like an addiction for me.

Just Some Stuff

We have been so busy lately I have not managed to blog at all lately.
Not even sure we have done anything that amounts to much, but I feel like we have been running around like crazy lately.
I thought Summer was a time for relaxation and unwinding, but it seems like we are in full force right now.
What have we been up to? In case you care, here's a little recap and some clues and answers to some of my previous posts.
1. I had a health issue that truly scared me. As I've posted about so much in the past, I am a gastrointestinal nightmare. So in and amongst all of the testing that my doctors were doing to find a way to get me better, they did an CT Scan and found a spot on my liver. Just what I needed right? A spotty liver. And for 3-4 weeks I got more tests scheduled and sat around and waited for what the spot might be.
As it turns out, it's a cyst. That's good news I guess. Except it does seems to be causing symptoms. So the plan right now is to watch the cyst and try and control the symptoms with medication. Seems to be working ok with the exception of the right side pain I have all the time. Oh how I wish I had a relative in the medical industry. I would totally bug the crap out of them until they solved my pain issue. But since I don't I guess I'll just be as I am.
2. I surprised Evan with a weekend trip to Disney World for his 35th birthday. The entire trip was supposed to be a true surprise. Like Evan shows up at the airport to price a "job" and I surprise him with his suitcase and plane ticket. That all unravelled quickly the day before when it was determined that he had pushed some work off from earlier in the week until Friday, the day he was supposed to be gone. So I basically had to call him and tell him on the phone that he was not going to be at work the next day, he was goignt o Disney World. Not exactly as I had dreamed it all out, but it worked. And we had a blast. Just the two of us. Running around an amusement park like little kids. Although each night when we got back to our room, we could tell we were getting older. My legs hurt for days after that!

What else? We are planning a vacation, speaking at a retreat, working like crazy and keeping up with two kids. Sounds like a lot but man are we blessed.
Now off to do some yard work that I've neglected!

Waiting rooms

I am pretty much over hospitals, doctor's offices and labs.
I'm writing this post from a waiting room. A place I feel like I have been one too many times.
I have to have one more scan in hopes of figuring out what the heck is wrong with me.
This one is a little more scary than all of the others, but I don't mind.
As long as I know something after it's over. Well I mean, I'll know something in a week.
And for all of these people sitting around me in this room, I hope that they all know the love of Jesus and they put their trust in Him.
I'm not sure how I would get through times like this without my faith.

Ballerina Girl

If I could have fabricated a plan for the perfect child, I imagine that child would be the spitting image of our daughter Haley.

It's hard as her mom to convey how wonderful she is, as it might be considered bragging or boastful. But honestly, I just adore her with all of my heart.

Her spirit is just so beautiful. She truly loves everyone and everything.

Most importantly, she holds a strong faith in God and uses that as a foundation for the rest of her life.

She happens to be quite beautiful in my opinion, but her true beauty runs deep into her soul.

Haley is smart, imaginative, witty and has a contagious personality. She can quickly make friends with people both old and young, and she has a natural motherly disposition that makes her love toddlers and babies.

Did I mention she also loves sports like golf and kickball, but can dance ballet with a grace like no other?

There is nothing I don't just love about my sweet girl.

And I see her growing up so fast right before my eyes. But unlike most her age, I see her growing in her faith and in her heart more than I see her being selfish and self-centered.

My hope and prayer for Haley is that she will always be reminded of how beautiful her heart is and that she will use it to make a difference in this world that needs people like her.

I envision her as a missionary. I simply think she will always be a servant of others. Whether that is in the mission field or in a classroom or in corporate America is up to her. But I feel certain she will lead and she will make a difference.

It's strange now to think back to the time when I was so scared of having a little girl. What would I do with a girl? As it turns out, I haven't had to work that hard, as God gave me a sweet little image of himself to share my life with.

One final Milestone

Last night I completed the six weeks of maintenance with Weight Watchers and became a lifetime member! Basically that means I don't have to pay anymore to go to meetings as long as I stay within my goal range.
I am super excited to be at this stage as not many people carry it through to the end, so it's a part big deal.
Part of my reaching lifetime meant that I had to do a little talk during our meeting about what this whole journey has meant to me.
That was tough. I teared up a few times as the emotion of the last few years was brought full circle. Standing in front of our group and explaining that I am who I am today because of trials like my husband's cancer and my own poor health was hard. But as I lloked around the room at people I have gotten to know pretty well, I realized that everyone needs to hear that success can come from adversity.
I imagine most people attending something like a Weight Watchers meeting want to hear that they are not alone. That one day their story might matter to someone else. And that is exactly what I told them.
SO I'm finished. I've said my WW testimony and I'm rockin' a healthier, trimmer body.
And it is my hope that like all of the other stories I've shared with people in hopes of being an inspiration, I will continue to share my weight loss story with those that want to hear it.
Did I mention I've been asked to apply for a job with Weight Watchers?? Oh dear!

May oh My

I'm not real thrilled with the month of May right now.
I won't go into details, but man am I worn out from all of the drama that has been going on.
A little bit of Grey's Anatomy with a sprinkling of The Apprentice and a dab of Days of Our Lives.
Hopefully things will wing down just like the above stated TV shows are coming to their respective season finales.
Here's hoping the summer gets here sooner than later!

Stats

This picture looks ridiculous I know.

It was taken on a Thursday night when I was worn out and just not really in the mood for a photo.

But the true purpose of the picture is so that I can keep a record of how far I have come in my weight loss journey. I have to keep reminding myself of the new me and how much I want to remain in my current shape.

44 pounds smaller. 12 inches gone from my waist.

A size 6 or 8 depending on the brand- not a size 16 like I once was!

The shorts in the picture above I wore all the time last summer.

Not anymore! This summer I will enjoy being half that size.

And I will enjoy being active and feeling good as well, since that is really what it is all about.

Anesthesia

I totally understand why Michael Jackson had a doctor who he regularly had come in to his home and put him under.
I mean who would not love to be able to be completely unaware of life for a few hours every now and again.
Precisely how I felt today for the better part of forty five minutes.
One minute I was going on and on to this really great nurse Bernadette about how I was married to the greatest man alive. And the next minute I was out. Gone. All the while having a long probe stuck up my butt.
Ain't life grand?
Is it not just the coolest thing ever that we can literally be removed from our bodies and our lives and have medical procedures that should cause all kinds of pain? And we don't know or feel a thing. I think it's a medical marvel.
But I do have to wonder about some of the stories those nurses must hear right as they push the button to inject the sleepy drug.
The last thing I remember today, aside from my rant about Evan being the greatest husband ever, was when the nurse commented on how she loved my dimples and she always wanted dimples. Who knows what I said after that.
But I imagine that nurse probably tweets or blogs under a pseudoname. And she probably has some really great stories she shares with the general public.
Just as long as she doesn't share anything about my backside, we are good!

Just another Tuesday

It's 9:07 in the morning on a Tuesday and I am at home.
No work today as I have spent the last 16 hours preparing for a series of GI tests.
I haven't eaten a morsel since Sunday night at 6:00.
Needless to say I'm a little edgy and a lot hungry.
But I have had the pleasure of consuming 64 oz. of Gatorade, 4 Dulcolax and a bottle of Miralax.
In case you are ever in the need for a good time, just try that combination.
It's guaranteed to make you move like you've never moved before!

A little after noon today I will be checked in to the hospital, sedated and violated all in the hopes of finding out why I live in digestive misery.
Not sure how I feel about all of this.
Obviously I would love to know if something is wrong so it can be fixed. But there will always be the part of me that fears the results.
Is there really an issue that I haven't known about and will find out about today?
Or will I be filed away in the drawer full of patients who get lumped into the IBS category?
Trust me, I know my bowels are irritable! No need for that diagnosis.

But I digress. Ultimately, I just want to feel good again. Is that too much to ask for?
So as always, I covet your prayers today. One simple prayer please- a clear answer as to why I have been so sick.
And I promise after that, you don't have to hear about my insides anymore!

When I Grow Up

My life has changed in so many ways the last few years.
There are obvious changes- my weight and my very blonde hair color. I have a new job.
And most of you know that I have changed as a human being because of my growing love for Christ and my family through the trials cancer brought our way.
But the not so obvious changes that have happened in my life really are starting to reek havoc on what I know as normal.

As it turns out, all of the changing and growing I have done lately has basically created a new me. Someone who has new priorities, new goals and new dreams.
All of this I did not realize until my life forced me to make choices. And the choices I have made as of late do not necessarily line up with the person I have grown to be. The person that wants to help others. The one that wants to be the best wife and mother possible.
So now I am in a really weird place. A place that is uncomfortable. A place where I feel lost.
Doesn't sound so good huh?
Nope.
I've never felt this way. Never been so uncertain about myself.
Someone who is confident by nature is now floundering about.
And I find myself turning to God for answers and I think I'm getting clear direction.
But the realities of that direction have consequences for which I fear.
And in all of this I only know a few things are certain.
God loves me.
My family loves me.
And I want to love people and do good in this world.
So with those certainties, I pray for clarity and for peace for my life.
Peace I felt so sure of back in February when cancer left our lives, but a peace that eludes me now as I try and figure out who I am.

Just call me Strawberry Shortcake

On Easter Sunday, we headed over to my parent's house for dinner and the annual egg hunt.
My parents live on a large piece of land. Much of it is wooded and they have planted every plant known to man.
So it was not unusual to me when I came across a strawberry patch my mom had planted over by my dad's garage. And if you know me, I love a good strawberry. So I couldn't wait to eat a few of them as soon as I spotted them.
They were very small, but already red. Perfect for eating. I ate 4 and went on about my business.
About an hour later, we all hunted eggs and we were sitting around my parents on the front porch talking. I mentioned to my mom that I thought it was a neat idea she had planted strawberries and that I had found some already red ones and eaten them.
Much to my surprise (and her's) she informed me she didn't know what strawberries I was talking about. I told her that they were the one's she had so neatly put over by the garage.
Apparently, she didn't put them there.
Nature did. Wild strawberries. Or they might not even be strawberries actually. Since when I broke one open to show them they didn't look like strawberries.
Hmm.
If you google wild strawberries, it says they are edible.
Maybe.
But I do seem to be a little itchy and my stomach seems to be a little unsettled.
That might just be the quantity of food I consumed today.
But it is my hope that you, the reader of this blog, will not have the pleasure of telling all your friends about the girl you know who died from eating wild strawberries.
Just sayin'.

Exploding ankles

In my last post I shared all about my recent digestive health issues.
In this post, I will tell you about how my doctor almost killed me trying to fix said issues.
She gave me 2 antibiotics. Two very strong antibiotics.
And they basically killed every good bacteira in my body.
And it seems as though I am also allergic to at least one of them.
So where do I stand?
My ankles and hands and face and midsection are swollen. Think stay-puff-marshmallow-man.
I'm itching to death and my guts hurt worse.
Fabulous.
So on the recommendation of the pharmacist since I couldn't get the doctor after hours, I have abandoned all medicines.
And of course I now have to go for an appointment to come up with another plan of attack.
Great.
But I guess I'm just thankful I have a doctor and insurance and the luxury of having healthcare.
And I feel certain I will know at some point what my problem is.
Right now it's all just a pain in the butt- literally.